作文An Unforgettable Experience

2016-10-07 20:43:11作者:王丹阳来源:第二课堂(英语版)

以 An unforgettable experience 为题写一篇短文,描述一次难忘的经历,并谈谈你的感想。
  That was a day I will hardly forget. I remember I was very young at that time. There was the most important rainstorm in Changsha that day. The sky was very dark. The rain beat heavily against the umbrellas, the windows and the floor. It was raining so heavily that the road almost became a river! It was almost a small flood!
  I was shopping with my grandma at that time. We were caught in the supermarket. The door of the store opened, but the flood was like a lion. It still ran into the supermarket. There were many people in the supermarket. Some people tried to go out, but then they all get wet. A man next to us was talking on the phone, he looked upset. But there were some kids playing there. My grandma and I wanted to go home. We sat on the chair. When it didn’t rain more heavily than before, my grandma and I went home.
  It is an unforgettable experience to me. Although it wasn’t so dangerous, it let me realize the meaning of danger.


  王泉老师点评:
  本文作者抓住主题“一次难忘的经历”,回忆曾经与奶奶一次购物时遇到暴雨的事情。文章基本思路清晰,对新学的过去进行时态运用准确,并能恰当、准确地处理一般过去时与过去进行时。特别是对天气状况, 场景及人物活动的细节描写生动而有画面感、给文章增色不少。但部分词句的处理与表达欠妥贴,比如:关于暴雨中商场大门口的场景描写与当时人物活动应连贯一体;商场的大门应是“gate”,而不是“door”等。


  That was a day I would hardly forget. I was very young at that time. It was the most serious rainstorm in Changsha that day. The sky was very dark. The rain beat heavily against the roofs, the windows and the ground. It was raining so heavily that the road almost became a river!
  The gate of the store was open, the flood was like a lion. It ran into the supermarket. I was shopping with my grandma at that time. There were many people in the supermarket. Some people tried to go out, but quickly they were caught in the rain and all got wet. A man next to us was talking on the phone, and he looked upset. But there were some kids playing there. Although my grandma and I wanted to go home, we had to wait in the shop till the rain stopped.
  Although it wasn’t so dangerous, it is an unforgettable experience to me.


英语作文Unforgettable作文