中考英语作文：我想要发明

中考英语作文：我想要发明
Write at least 60 words on the topic "I want to invent ______"

(以“我想要发明______”为题，写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格)

(注意：1.在答题纸上将题目补充完整。

2.短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其它相关信息，否则不予评分。)

The folloing is for reference only.（以下表达仅供参考）

1.It can be used to ...

2.It will be exciting/necessary/helpful ...

范文1及点评：

I Want To Invent A Family Doctor Robot

I want to invent a family doctor robot, which can be used to cure the illness without going out of their home. As far as I’m concerned, it will be extremely helpful and useful because of the following reasons:

First, you can see the doctor immediately at home when you feel sick or get hurt. It can save us a lot of time, especially in emergency situations.

Furthermore, hospitals today are always filled with patients, not everyone can be taken good care of. However, with the help of our robot doctors, you can talk to your personal doctor one to one whenever you want.

In short, family doctor robots can make great contribution to our society.

——来自中考英语杨洋老师

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：全文巧用“first, furthermore, in short” 等连接词，把家庭机器人医生的好处写的非常清晰，让阅卷老师一目了然。

亮点二：全文采用了定语从句、状语从句、并列句等多种长难句，为文采分增色不少。

亮点三：文中出现了“extremely, make contribution to” 这些超纲单词及词组，恰到好处地强调了家庭机器人医生的重要性，且为文采再次进行润色。

范文2及点评：

I want to invent a time machine

If I have the ability to invent something that could make life better, the first thing that comes into my mind is a time machine. With its help, people could go back to the past conveniently.

We unavoidably make some mistakes that we regret so much, it’s fantastic if we could get another chance to fix it. Besides, it is of great importance to the aged people if they are able toenjoy their youth for a second time.

Although it sounds like an impossible dream to realize, I still believe with the rapid development of science and technology, my idea will become reality some day.

——来自中考英语刘小星老师

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：the first thing that comes into mind 首先映入脑海的是。

亮点二：conveniently方便地，便利地。

亮点三：be of great importance名词结构更高端。

亮点四：使用be able to短语替换掉could，避免重复。
亮点五：with the rapid development of science and technology随着科学和技术的迅速发展。

范文3及点评：

I want to invent a kind of medicine

If you ask me what I want to invent? I will say a kind of medicine which can cure cancer.As we all know, many people suffer from cancer and die at a very young age these years. For this, countless families lost their beloved family members, then feel painful for the rest of their lives. What a terrible thing it is! So, doing something quickly for them is rather necessary, I’d like to devote my life to it!

——来自中考英语任瑞蕊老师

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：条件状语从句，主将从现，引出中心思想。

亮点二：at a very young age 在年轻时。

亮点三：beloved 挚爱的。

亮点四：for the rest of their lives 余生。

亮点五：What a terrible thing it is! 感叹句表达这种病的严重性。

亮点六：So, doing something quickly for them is necessary! 主语从句结尾，句式新颖，点明主题。

亮点七： devote one’s life to … 把…献给，强烈表明作者的决心。

范文4及点评：

I want to invent healthy cigarette

There are a great number of people who smoke around us, including women and men, even some students. As we all know, a cigarette can contain plenty of toxic materials which are not only harmful to themselves, but also to others. Therefore,I think it is necessary to invent healthy cigarette. If people use it when they want to smoke, it can be used to reduce the bad influence which is caused by the real cigarette.

For our beautiful future and human beings, healthy cigarette should be made.

When I grow up, I want to be an inventor. Healthy cigarette will be my first invention.

——来自中考英语米萌老师

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：考纲外语法定语从句使用

亮点二：not only…but also 不但…而且…

亮点三：宾语从句

亮点四：if条件状语从句

亮点五：When引导的时间状语从句